Princess Diana

Princess Diana`s children

Dreadful headaches, stomachache, dizziness, nausea after every bite! Why must a woman be so ill, just because she's pregnant? Diana couldn't understand it. She was, after all, pleased about the baby. Finally she would have a task which totally suited her. Yet, on 5th November 1981, just four months after the wedding, as the Queen officially confirmed her daughter-in-law's pregnancy, Diana's peace came to an end. Innumerable greetings cards were sent to the palace. "The whole world is watching my stomach", Diana complained at the time. The media circus, which was already very oppressive anyway, grew to really unimaginable proportions. And it was clear what the people, kingdom and crown wanted: a son, heir and future king!

Diana didn't feel like celebrating. She felt ill! The Queen showed her concern and considerably reduced the number of Diana's official appearances. It was a very fearful time for Prince Charles. He saw his wife suffering and didn't know how he could help her. Why couldn't Diana pull herself together? She was, after all, not the first woman to ever have a baby! Time again Diana managed to keep her composure in public.

The entrance to St. Mary's Hospital had been occupied for days by photographers and onlookers. Half the world was in delivery fever, the newspapers didn't know any other theme any more.

"I believe that the whole of England lay with me during labour", Diana later said, my fears, and also the pressure which weighed upon me, were dreadful.

On 21st June 1982 Diana brought a healthy baby in to the world. Hurrah, it was a boy! William, the heir to the throne! Her hotel room was like a sea of flowers, red roses everywhere. The Princess was totally exhausted, but very, very happy. It was a difficult birth, which took a very long time. But the suffering was very soon forgotten, now the only thing that counted was the sweet baby in her arms. One could hear the jubilant calls from outside: "long live Diana!" She remained just one day in the hospital. As Charles and Diana stood cradling the baby before the door to the clinic, the crowd applauded and one called out: "Do it once more, Charles!" Relieved smiles on all faces. It was completed, the photographers had their pictures and they could drive home.

Diana took a complete rest. A nanny and an infant nurse cared for tiny William. Charles was so excited by his son and heir, that was not able to take his eyes from him. He gave his wife a small diamond necklace as a sign of his thanks and happiness. But he forgot to give her the necessary attention and love needed.

Diana then suffered from a terrible post-natal depression. She cried a lot, without knowing why. Often she spent an entire day in bed in a darkened bedroom. She felt empty and useless. Charles couldn't understand this. Why was she not happy and contented? What was Diana lacking? Psychologists were called upon. The Queen was stunned as she heard what was happening in Kensington Palace. Why was her daughter-in-law so weak? She had everything that a woman's heart could wish for. No-one showed any understanding, neither Diana's own husband, nor the rest of the Royal Family. And time and time again she was bombarded with reproaches, time and time again she had the feeling that she was doing everything wrong. It would have been so simple to have helped her at this time. Diana needed only peace and patience. Luckily Diana was very soon able to overcome her depressive phase. She was happy about the baby and pacified it with devotion. Prince Charles was also completely crazy about the little chap, the three grew into a proper family together Diana cared very intensively for her son, despite the nanny. Charles proved a true talent in baby care. Servants happily reported that the heir to the throne had taken a bath with William.

Wills was now nine months old and his parents had to make a state visit to Australia. The journey would take six weeks. For Diana such a long separation would be impossible. She insisted on taking William with her. She also explained this to the Queen, who, as expected, categorically denied this wish. Therefore Diana threatened to stay in London with her son. She left no doubts open about fulfilling her threat. A tricky situation for Queen Elizabeth, as she knew that the Australians would be bitterly disappointed if Charles came alone. Diana remained resolute. The Queen permitted it. The Australian visit was a complete success. Storms of excitement and celebration everywhere. Diana even overcame her shyness and could, without pressure, go up to strangers and chat with them.

Even in the same year Diana became pregnant again. Charles reacted to the news with excitement. He obtained complete works about pregnancy and babies. He did not want to hear again the accusation that he could not understand the problems of an expectant mother. He fervently hoped for a cute little girl. But on 15th September 1984 the second son Prince Harry, weighing 3118g, was born. Diana was an inspirational mother for her sons William and Harry. They always took up first place in her life. Diana loved, protected and cared for her children more than anything. They meant everything to her. Already as a small girl Diana wanted to have at least five children. Later, as "Queen of Hearts", Diana wanted to be the mother of the nation, the mother for the poor and sick of the whole world. William and Harry were her happiness. Diana took on the role of mother with devotion and passion. She wanted her sons to live as normal a childhood as possible, even if that was often difficult to achieve.

Like every young mother Diana played and romped around with her boys, and was very careful that the nanny didn't have too much of an influence. For Diana there was never a question of letting nannies take over the child-raising - something actually routine for aristocratic families. After two dismissals the cheerful Tiggy Legge-Bourke took over the job. And now a true nanny-drama began: Diana insinuated that Tiggy played the role of hostess, flirted with her husband and took over the children. William and Harry truly loved Tiggy, and also today, after Diana's tragic death, she is a very important close contact for the pair. Diana loved having her sons to herself. She spent as much time with them as possible. Diana was a loving mother and best playmate in one person. There was no childish fun that she had not joined in with : roller skating on the long corridors in Kensington Palace, jellybaby eating competitions, log flume rides or dressing-up as ghosts using bedsheets. Sometimes the three even secretly annoyed the old servants by always hiding certain objects. Prince Charles was not always excited by the boisterous games in his house. He insisted that his sons should be made familiar with their future duties as soon as possible. This included discipline, order, first-class manners and also sobriety. Especially William should be raised after kingly principles. After all, the heir to the throne saw him as one day being his future heir.

Charles supported a strict upbringing, as a four-year-old he had already had a private teacher and several nannies. As Diana's view of child raising, education and childhood was so different, there was often friction between the married couple. Charles wanted his sons in any case to be under the care of a private teacher for the first few years. Diana insisted on a public nursery. There William and Harry could play with others of the same age. Naturally the Queen completely agreed with her son, and it was almost a miracle that the pair actually went to a nursery in central London a few times. Later Diana's sons went to the public school of Wetherby and afterwards the Ludgrove public boarding school.

Even when it is natural in high society to send the children to boarding school, it was however a painful parting for Princess Diana. Because she naturally loved to have her children around her when she was alone in the evening in Kensington Palace and felt alone. In June 1991 Prince William was accidentally hit by a golf club held by a fellow pupil at the boarding school. Diana raced to the hospital. William had a fractured skull, difficult contusions had to be operated on immediately. But Charles left the hospital to keep and engagement. The operation lasted 75 minutes. Diana didn't understand how a father how a father could leave his son alone at such a moment. As William awoke she was sitting beside him.

Diana's sons were her confidantes. She was not shy of showing her feelings openly and honestly. When Diana once sat crying on the loo, having shut herself in, and did not want to come out again, William pushed Kleenex tissues under the door to his mother. He crouched down by the bathroom door and spoke to her. Somehow he nearly always managed to get her to come out. And then he took her up lovingly in his little arms. Diana avoided criticising Charles. She also didn't mention his affair with Camilla. But she couldn't hide her tears from the children. They certainly noticed much about their mother's unhappiness. Diana always had a bad conscience about this. She knew only too well how much children's spirits suffer when their parents argue. She wanted to make it better, to save her children all their concern. Diana always had a deep concern for her youngest. He was a sensitive child, so vulnerable and quiet. Harry often spent the day dreaming, whilst William was a proper roughneck. He could be loud and wild, but also conceal a lot of things. His younger brother liked to have a cuddle. There are innumerable photos which show Diana seeking body contact with Harry. Once she strokes his hair, then she takes him by the arm, or by the hand. She always had the feeling that she had to protect him. Harry was pampered by Diana. It was her way of relieving his sadness over the broken home. With William, her beloved older son, Diana behaved differently. He was her ally, her interlocutor and advisor. When a scandal broke out in the press, she drove to his school and discussed everything with him. She explained what had happened to William, and begged for understanding. Also when it handled delicate things like the Camilla tape, the James Hewitt book, or the "octopus conversation". These must have been dreadfully difficult moments in Diana's life! And it comforted her to know how concerned William was about her wellbeing.

Diana was a devoted mother. But it would be completely wrong to presume that Charles was a bad father. He also loved his sons and tried to make their lives as carefree as possible. He just had a different way with children. Charles couldn't give them the same tenderness as Diana. The source for this certainly laid in his childhood. As a small boy he was not allowed to show any feelings. And so it is no miracle that he wanted to raise William and Harry as proper men. Charles went hunting or fishing with them. He was proud when they caught a hare or had good grades at sport. Charles clapped his oldest on the back with a wink, as he was caught at 14 with a bottle of champagne on school grounds, and his first sexual contact with girls was talked about. He spent a part of the school holidays with his sons in Scotland, undertook long hikes and explained the beauties of nature to them. Diana preferred to fly to distant lands with William and Harry. 

The children always had fun with their mother: swimming in the Caribbean, water skiing in the Mediterranean, snowball fights in Switzerland. During the holidays the boys were allowed to do everything, but above all to be children. They were allowed to eat hamburgers from the packaging, read comics, play with other boys in the hotel. And this all meant a lot, when one had been born into royalty!

At home in London or also in the elite boarding school Eton they have to wear special armbands, which are tiny locating devices. In the case of a kidnapping the police can tell at once where the children of the Heir to the Throne are.

It is unimaginable how great the loss of their beloved mother is to William and Harry. The picture of how they followed their mother's coffin with empty expressions remains in the world's memory forever. And one thing is certain: if Diana had experienced that her heart would have been broken. She was always so concerned about keeping the darker side of life away from her sons.

Unfortunately Diana couldn't prevent the breakdown of her family. On the 28th August 1996 the divorce with Prince Charles was finalized. She never wanted this conclusive step. She wanted to remain married solely for her two sons, they should not have to become the product of a broken home. The negotiations with the lawyers ran with difficulty. Naturally it was about money. But not just that. She fought like a lioness over her children. Naturally she knew that the Queen of England would always have a voice in their upbringing.

But she was the mother, she didn't want to clear the field without stipulating her requirements. The result did not satisfy the Princess, but more was not to be achieved: Diana was made a divorcee, to a mother with joint custody of her sons William and Harry. She would be allowed to spend 57 days in the year alone with the children.

Married life.

From the beginning Diana and Charles' marriage was not blessed with good fortune. Already during the engagement period Diana had had the feeling that Camilla played too great a role in Charles' life. Diana opened a small parcel, addressed to Charles, and found a gold bracelet with a blue enamel pendant and the initials F & G. Didn't Charles and Camilla earlier call themselves Fred and Gladys as a disguise? Diana suffered terribly from jealousy. Diana made it unmistakably clear to Charles that he should not send this gift to Camilla, but he did it anyway. Diana pondered even before the wedding about not marrying Charles. Charles even took a photo of Camilla with him on honeymoon. How must Diana have felt there? Diana became sick with worry. She suffered her first case of bulimia.

During the pregnancy Diana had depressive phases: she stood under enormous pressure. She had so many roles to perfect as she wanted to do everything properly. The people loved her, but where was the recognition of love from Charles? The female psyche was an unknown giant for Charles. He couldn't come to terms with Diana's problems during the pregnancy. He demanded discipline! This simply served to aggravate the situation, and the agenda held a place for the daily squabbles. Through the children for a time they forgot their problems. Charles developed into a model father and relinquished a few official duties which also helped the marriage. They were both very proud of their sons and there were also some very happy moments in their marriage. Unfortunately, however, there were differences later in approaches to childrearing. Charles wanted to raise his children in a royal sense and Diana wanted a natural raising with much freedom for the children.

Another problem for the marriage was that Diana became ever more loved by the people. When the royal pair visited a function then the crowds cheered for her, no longer for Charles. The storm of flashbulbs was only for Diana, her beauty, her clothes, her smile. A completely unknown situation for the heir to the throne, he gradually began to feel uneasy. Diana enjoyed the attention which was given to her. Charles viewed the development with concern. He used every opportunity to criticize his wife. One can say that Diana lived in two worlds. The prince gave her the feeling that she was not satisfying her royal duties, that she was immature and moody. Also Charles and the palace criticized Diana's arrangement for the sick and poor, especially for AIDS victims. But the people celebrated her as a heroine, a goddess, as a model for youth and beauty. The prince became ever more jealous and this resulted in harming the marriage.

Charles distanced himself ever more from Diana. The pair never developed common interests. That was the main failure that Charles and Diana made! She could chat for hours with a friend about the latest fashion trends, about cinema films or TV stars. Themes that bored the heir to the throne, he found them banal. He was interested in literature, history, painting, architecture and philosophy. But Diana refused to read a single book on these subjects. Charles preferred walks in the countryside with a rustic picnic. There was simply no common topic for conversation, when one omits childrearing.

There was one woman who stimulated Charles' intellect. It was Camilla! He took up this relationship again during his marriage to Diana and that was the undoing of the couple and the whole family. Camilla was no beauty, no fashion model, was however a woman with wit and intellect. For Charles Camilla was a true friend. She listened to him when he had problems and he liked to follow her advice. The pair met secretly at Highgrove, Charles' country residence. This place proved to be completely practical, as Camilla lived nearby. Besides, Diana stayed here very seldom, she preferred to stay in London at the weekend. Charles never made a secret out of the fact that he was friendly with the Parker-Bowleses. Should Diana actually once meet Camilla at Highgrove, then this would have made a harmless impression. In any case, Charles' servants and friends had known exactly this for a long time: The heir to the throne betrays his wife, and, indeed, in the very bed which Diana had once chosen!

The prince fooled himself completely if he thought that Diana had not realized about the infidelity. At first it was only ideas, which however began to gain ever more shape. When there was a conflict between the married couple, Prince Charles drove to Highgrove. Often he first came back in the morning hours and then laid down for the rest of the night on a small bed in his dressing room. Where had he been? Diana surprised her husband at Highgrove, the sofa cushions were rumpled in front of the fireplace, and the servants stared at the floor with embarrassment. Who was still here then? A dreadful situation for Diana. She made scenes in front of him, raged, cried and screamed. It made no impression on him. The princess again began to raid fridges and larders through total frustration. 1985, at the time when Charles re-established his relationship with Camilla, Diana began to mutilate herself. With sleeping tablets, falling down the stairs and self-mutilation she wanted to send out signals, to make clear, that she needed help. But Charles and the royal family were not in the position to pick up on these signals. Diana, the celebrated goddess, the beauty from the fairytale book, was psychologically ill for more than half a decade!

It was 1987 when the state of Diana's nerves and soul were at their lowest point. Diana's heart was empty and lonely. Yet there was this yearning, her will and desire. A young woman at 26 cannot live without love, without tenderness. Everything began completely harmlessly. Diana sought a riding instructor for her sons William and Harry. James Hewitt, member of the bodyguard, offered his services. He was a charming young man and was sympathetic to Diana from the beginning. Diana was excited by his understanding nature and decided to also take a few riding lessons. James Hewitt burst from pride: he had never had such prominent pupils before. And he quickly noticed that Diana was, very sadly, psychologically pretty unstable. Stealing her heart was an easy game for him. The pair came closer. He offered himself as a trustworthy friend, always listened to her concerns and flattered her. Finally, Diana thought, a man on my side. His game was made easier by the fact that her two sons also liked the nice Uncle James very much. He soon realised that Diana was not the self-confident goddess that he knew from the press reports. She was shy, uncertain, injured and depressed. That was James Hewitt's great chance! Small reassurances, the first common secrets, a breathless farewell kiss - the fantasy began to work. James Hewitt managed to make Diana devoted to him. He formed the total opposite to Charles, always had time, listened to every word, took all her dreams seriously. He gave Diana the feeling of being desirable, interesting and exciting. Yes, James saw her as a woman, not as a princess. Diana never wanted to ever break her promise of loyalty made at the marriage altar. She was then so certain that she would love Charles for ever and ever. But the ice cold marriage opened doors for James Hewitt: Diana became unfaithful and had a sexual relationship with the riding instructor.

Separation.

England's Prime Minister John Major announced on 9th December 1992:

"Buckingham Palace has made it known that the Prince and Princess of Wales will separate. Their Royal Highnesses are not seeking a divorce. Their position in the constitution remains the same. This decision has been agreed by both parties, the care of the children will continue to be shared by both."

"They were only a few words, spoken quietly. But they were enough to set all the nation into shock. so it was now official, what every newspaper reader, every television viewer had long guessed. In spite of this the knowledge was still a shock. The romance of Diana and Charles existed no longer. Over and done with! The pair had actually been on a state visit to Korea in November. All an act! And suddenly everyone remembered that no common ground was to be recognised on the photos any more. Charles and Diana couldn't even look at each other in the eyes any more. What must have been running through their minds? Today one knows that this state visit must have been a true nightmare. As the official separation resulted in hard wrangling between the lawyers, without speaking of the emotional injuries. All parties realised that the public would take the separation of Charles and Diana very badly. To whom would the most sympathies lie? Who would the guilt for the breakup of the marriage be pushed on to? Would the nation separate into two separate camps?

Naturally the Royal Family was keen to set Charles in the best possible light.

And surprisingly only five months before Major's announcement recorded telephone conversations turned up with the most explosive contents. Whispers of love between a man called James Gilbey and Diana! It was the infamous "Octopus Conversation".

Diana:I don't want to get pregnant.

Gilbey:Darling, that won't happen, OK?

Diana:Yes.

Gilbey:You can't think like that. Nothing will happen, darling. You won't get pregnant.

Diana:I watched East Enders today. One of the actresses had had a baby. She thought it was her husband's. It was another man's.

Gilbey:My octopus, kiss me. O God. Is this feeling not wonderful? Do you like it too?

Diana:Yes, a lot.

This telephone conversation had already happened in 1989. Amateur funk radio listeners were supposed to have secretly listened to it and then sold it to newspapers two years later. Or was it the secret ? The timing of the exposure makes one think. As Diana then appeared guilty for the break-up of her marriage. But what really happened then, in 1989? Did the Princess of Wales have a relationship? And who is this James Gilbey? The pair certainly knew each other and were friends with one-another. He was Diana's confidant during difficult married years. Diana later admitted to have led this listened to and publicised telephone call. But this was far from a marriage-breaking relationship. The press scandal was perfect.

Yet Charles and his people were not allowed to celebrate early. Amateur radio listeners not only listened in to her calls, but also those of her husband. And now for the first time it really got embarrassing: The Prince of Wales was recorded during a highly erotic telephone conversation to his long-time mistress Camilla!

He said that he would most like to turn into a tampon, so that he could always be with her. Laughter was able to be heard the whole world over. It is interesting that this conversation had also been held in 1989, and was also publicised in the year of the separation. Coincidence?

Obviously the Palace had no concept yet of how it could limit the damage, or how Diana came through all the scandles and sensational stories amazingly unscathed - apart from through gradual exclusion. In fact Diana completed a few official visits alone in 1993. She was in Zimbabwe for four days in order to visit charity groups out there, and in the summer she went to Bergen-Hohne (Germany) as the Honourary Group Captain of the Home Regiment of the Light Dragoons. She appeared decisive about wanting to make something out of the separation. She was strengthened by still being in the centre of public interest.  
For outsiders it is difficult to imagine how something like this could work: to live two lives - one official and one private. But through a more exact observation one can see that the pair had been doing exactly that for some time. Finally at the beginning of August the last chance for a reconcilement was arranged.

The separated pair met in London's St. James Palace and discussed the possibilities for an arrangement, or a reconcilliation. One of Diana's most important demands is said to have been that Charles must avoid any further contact with Camilla. The meeting passed without success.